Saving a marriage after adultery can be a very hard and time consuming process. You spent all that time together, loving each other and pledging to be faithful to each other only to have that trust get betrayed. Most marriages end after an affair because it is just so hard to ever trust that person again.

Despite having an affair, some couples still very much love each other. Affairs are nothing more then a symptom of a deeper underlying problem. The first thing you need to do is find out what that problem is, what is causing you to stray from your marriage.

The thing is that as we get older we change and we may acquire different tastes or grow tired of the old. This is where affairs usually take place, once the marriage has settled into a routine and the offending party simply grew bored of it all.

It is understandable, if not acceptable, why the offending party would cheat under those circumstances. As cruel as it may sound, we all grow bored if we do the same thing over and over again. This applies to marriage just the same as it applies to everything else.

The first thing you need to do after adultery, if you wish to save your marriage, is to forgive the offending partner. This likely will not happen over night and it will be very hard. They betrayed your trust and it will take a lot of time and effort on their part to earn it back.

But once you have forgiven them, you can move on to fixing the underlying problems that led to the affair. This is a crucial step. If you do not fix the problem them history will likely just repeat itself. So it is vitally important that you find out why they cheated, really get down to the root of the problem.

Once you have discovered what exactly it was that drove them to cheat, you can work on fixing it. In most cases an affair happens because one of the people involved has grown tired of the routine sexual activities. If this was the case then you might want to sit down with your partner and discuss ways to spice up your love life.

If you can just make changes to the areas the offending party has grown tired of, it can go a long way to prevent them from every straying again. So if it was them growing bored of your love life, then make sure you fix that and talk with them about it.

If it was not something related to your love life, then it may be trickier to fix. Even if this is the case the fundamental points still hold true. Talk with them and find out specifically what they thought the problem was, and why they cheated. From there you just have to make steps towards changing those aspects.

No matter what the case may be, life after adultery can be hard and emotionally taxing. What you need to remember is that you should always do what is best for you. If you feel you can forgive them and continue loving them despite their betrayal, then go for it. However if you do not feel you can forgive them, do not feel guilty or ashamed, they betrayed you so it is your right to walk away.

People change. That's a rather simple statement, but it can also hold a lot of depth. If you are in a relationship, then you are well-aware of how appropriate this saying can be. However, if your boyfriend has been acting really strange lately, has been trying to avoid you, or is treating you poorly, then you are probably asking yourself, "Why is my boyfriend acting the way he his?"

If it's any comfort, you should know that a lot of women have asked themselves that exact same question over the years. To be honest, there is a chance that you will never find out the real reason, and that's okay. On the other hand, you are probably worried it could be for any number of reasons, and none of the reasons you are imaging are good.

The first thing you need to consider is that your boyfriend isn't acting differently at all. In other words, the only thing that has really changed is you. Either something else in your life has changed, or you are only now becoming aware of how your boyfriend is acting...even though he may have been acting this way the entire time. Your gut reaction will be that this isn't possible, but take a step back and try to look at things objectively.

Let's assume that your boyfriend really is acting differently. What you need to do is clear your mind of any preconceived ideas for the causes of his behavior. No matter what you think the reason is, there is a strong chance that you are mistaken. Also, if you have a preconceived idea of why he's acting a certain way, then that can lead to false accusations.

Generally speaking, men don't like to talk about things; they are taught to be tough and not show any signs of weakness. For example, your boyfriend may be worried about losing his job, but he won't want to tell you that he's worried because that would be a sign of weakness. However, he could be expressing that stress in other ways, such as having a bad temper. You see the bad temper and ask why is my boyfriend acting this way.

Your mind starts racing and you may even try to think of what you could have done to make him mad. But the truth is that you haven't done anything; it's his job that's the source of the problem. Things will only get better when you get to the root of the problem.

That means you are going to have to get him to open up about what's really bothering him. Under no circumstances should you start the conversation by saying the four words men dread most: "we need to talk." Just tart a natural conversation in a calm and welcoming way. A good way to do this is to ask a few non-threatening, non-accusatory questions. Once he opens up you will have the answer to your question, "Why is my boyfriend acting the way he is?"

You love him. Oh, you love him so much. The last thing you would want to do is "crowd" him. And you didn't think you were. You thought all the togetherness you and your boyfriend were experiencing was as wonderful for him as it was for you. Only now he says something that indicates he felt just the opposite.

He says he wants his space -- but he doesn't want to lose you. Huh?

First reaction: "Well, just how much space, darling? Should I go stand on the other side of the room or leave the house entirely?"

His answer: "No, no. Don't leave. It's just that ... well, I need some space."

Women are always puzzled when a man says he wants his space. What exactly does it mean to you and to your relationship?

To be blunt about it, when you hear a woman say, "he said he wants his space, but doesn't want to lose me," she's talking about a manwho wants to have his cake and eat it, too. Now, that sounds harsh, doesn't it? Well, I do believe in plain speaking, and hiding the truth from you will not help you.

Every time a woman tells me, "he said he wants his space, but doesn't want to lose me," I wonder whether she realizes what he's actually asking her to do. Does she realize that he is floating the idea that he can keep her as his girlfriend without remaining her boyfriend? Does she realize that he wants to enjoy the benefits of her love while doing none of the work that goes along with it? That he is leaving her, but not doing so in any honest way? That he is, in fact, sneaking out the side door?

Now, this doesn't mean he's a bad person. It could mean that he's going through a particularly bad time in his life, though. If you're dating a divorcing man, you might hear him say this. He doesn't want to be alone, but he doesn't want to take on the responsibility of making a commitment, either.

Or maybe he is under some other source of pressure, one that is causing him to hesitate to make decisions. And so, he says he wants space, but doesn't want to lose you.

That is a far kinder interpretation, however, than is usually warranted. It is too often the case that a man who says he wants space has already left the building. Saying he doesn't want to lose you is a way of giving you false hope and making him feel less guilty.

How do you react?

First, ask a couple of clarifying questions. What exactly is space? Does he want to see other people? Does he want to continue seeing you? Pose these questions, but don't expect to get clear answers.

Second, figure out what you want.

What is the best way to maintain the relationship?

First, ascertain whether there is a relationship. Very often this desire to have space will come along around the third month of dating. The third month is a transitional one. You're moving from simply being two people who date to being seen as a couple. This might be fine with you, for example, but bother him. Suddenly, he finds himself sliding into a "relationship," coupledom, when all he wanted was someone familiar he could date.

Unfortunately, by the time a man says he wants his space, he has alread

Again, what do you do?

Figure out what you want. At least, he is aware of his confusion. Are you aware of yours? If you are certain you want to be in a committed relationship, then you have to accept that this man, at least at this time, cannot give you what you want. Yes, you can probably persuade him to stay, but will not be "getting back together."

You will not be making up the right way. Making up the right way means commitment to the relationship from both sides, not just one.

Short and sweet: Let him go. And let go of the fear that keeps you tied to someone who is pushing you away. Let him go.

And be free to meet the right one, the one with whom you'll experience love the right way.

Love ? I love love love you. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

People never truly understand one another. After all we are not mind readers. This is why doubt can settle in the minds of people in a relationship. You want to believe your boyfriend loves you but there can sometimes be that little nagging doubt in the back of your mind.

That is a problem a lot of women face, they are unsure of whether or not their boyfriends truly love them or not. They are left asking themselves "Does My Boyfirend Really Love ME" and struggling to come up with an answer.

They do not struggle because their boyfriend may not love them and they are having trouble coming up with ways to say otherwise. They struggle because how do you determine whether or not someone loves you? It is an easy question to ask, not an easy one to answer.

There are four good signs to look for that can tell you whether or not your boyfriend loves you. These are no exact nor will they all apply, but they can be a good place to start when trying to answer this question.

1: Look him in the eyes. A man who loves and respects you will not look away and avert his gaze, he will look you straight in the eye. This is how he conveys you are his equal and that he loves you, if he refuses to look you in the eye when expressing his love it may be because he is lying and would feel bad by looking you in the eye when he said that.

2: Men respect the people they love. Respect is an important aspect of relationships and you earn it as your man falls for you. If he could not respect you he very likely would not have fallen in love with you. Part of respecting someone is being honest and open with them. You do not hide or lie to those you respect so he should be willing to share his thoughts and concerns with you. As well as hear out your own concerns and support you when you make a decision.

3: A man who is in love will always make time. People inherently want to be around things they love, it is just human nature. This holds true with men just as much as women so if your man truly does love you he would want to spend time with you, and as such would make time. If he always has something else going on or constantly comes up with excuses, this may be a sign that he does not love you.

4: He will remember your special day. We all have special and important days, be it anniversary or birthdays. If your man loves you he will remember those days and make sure to acknowledge them as best he can.

Now remember that all men are not the same, they may show some of these signs such as not looking you in the eye or forgetting important dates, but that may not mean they do not love you. Some men may simply be too shy to look you in the eye, or forgetful to remember what the date is.

You know your boyfriend better then I ever could so it is at your discretion whether or not these signs truly apply. But they can prove to be a fairly good guideline to help you answer whether or not your boyfriend loves you.

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Divorce Your Speed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Admit it, you did something stupid and now she says she wants a divorce. She is tired of all the crap and doesn't want to deal with it, or you, anymore. You don't want one and are now scrambling for ways on how to stop my divorce. You are desperately looking for something to say or do that will change her mind.

Let me tell you something, everything you are considering trying will only continue to push her away. Don't send flowers, ok, they are nice but she will only see them as some sort of manipulation. In reality, that is exactly what they are, a manipulation. You cannot manipulate yourself back onto her good side. It will never work, she will see right through it.

So, where do you start how to stop my divorce?

First, stop fighting and arguing. You are never going to get her to change her mind this way and she will just dig her feet in and the resentment will keep building. You can't talk someone in to feeling a certain way when they already feel another. She is justified in the way she feels and doesn't want to change. Talk is cheap and she knows it.

She also does not want to keep hearing "I love you" all the time. Whether it is true or not she is convinced that she no longer loves you and has shut all her feelings off except the ones that will see her through a divorce. She thinks it is over between you and is preparing herself to start changing the way she looks and acts in life so she can survive. This may seem a little selfish but this really is a natural step to take to have a smooth transition between married life and single life.

Oh, and do not ever try to reassure her that you have or will be "changing" your behavior. Again, she will not believe you and really is an attempt on your part to continue trying to control the situation. You can't and depending on what you did to prompt her into asking for a divorce then she may think you have lost the right to control anything anymore.

If you want her to do a one-eighty then you need to be as agreeable, and as sincere, as you can possibly be. Let her be right from here on out. That's all she probably wanted from you in the first place, to just be right some of the time. When one of you controls the other by shooting down every idea, or comment, or suggestion and always has a "better" way of doing things it gets real old, real fast. If you want to win her back start making her feel like her opinion is the one that means the most.

You doing a one-eighty and learning these different tactics is the only way you will be allowed back in her life. She did not marry you originally to be under your thumb all the time and be controlled like she doesn't have a brain in her head. She married you because she loved you and wanted to be your equal partner in the marriage. So if you stop fighting, arguing, telling her you love her and showering her with gifts, or reassuring her that you can change and stay positive and let her be right and agree with everything she says from here on out then you will have learned a valuable lesson in how to stop my divorce.

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Are you unable to think about anything except "I want my wife to love me again?" Has your marriage gone by the wayside and you don't know why or what to do about it? Here are some tips that can help you out.

If you don't know why your wife has stopped loving you (or so she says), then that's the first thing you need to figure out. First, if your wife is still with you, then she probably does still love you. If she didn't, she would be somewhere else. So that's something positive to keep in mind. So why is she saying that she doesn't love you or just acting like she doesn't love you?

The main reason a woman will feel like she's fallen out of love is because she isn't getting the attention and appreciation she craves. Women are multi-faceted and do many things for you and your family. They work, take care of the kids, do all the household duties, have a social life that includes other friends and families and other interests that you both may not share.

So, ask yourself, do you appreciate everything your wife does for you? Do you appreciate that she is her own person and has her own ideas and interests, not all of which will be the same as yours. Do you appreciate all the little things she does to show you she cares? If so, then you need to let her know if you haven't already.

On the other hand, there is such a thing as overdoing it. You don't want to be fawning all over your wife and constantly asking her what's wrong and how you can help her or make her feel more loved. If you've been doing that and it's just making her push you away even more, then it's time to stop. Don't be negative or hostile about it. continue to be positive and cheerful.

But just give her space. Focus on taking care of yourself. Make sure you're eating right, exercising and going out with friends. Take the kids out on your own and leave your wife some time to herself. You can still offer comments up like "Boy, you sure do look nice today" but leave it at that. Then walk out the door and go to work.

Once you step back a bit and give your wife some space, as well as focus on yourself and show her that you are not going to dye without her, she will start to see you as someone that is to be admired and appreciated as well. Take it slow and let her make the first move towards you again. Hopefully this has helped you take some of the mystery and pain out of the statement "I want my wife to love me again."

"Dear Abby,

"How do I get my husband to love me again?"

Have you been thinking this to yourself and wondering where to turn for help? You're marriage has gone stale and you don't know exactly why, or even if you do know why, you don't know exactly what to do about it.

What usually happens unfortunately is that as time passes, the powerful love, respect and admiration that women feel from their husband is replaced by feelings of hurt, awkwardness and distance. Some women are sure that their husbands have fallen out of love with them. sometimes the husband actually spells it out. Or sometimes the husband denies this but the "something's-wrong-feelings" are still around. If you feel that your husband has fallen out of love with you, there are steps you can take to bring you back to where you once were in your relationship and/or to make your marriage even stronger.

Try to think back to when you and your husband first fell in love. Do you remember what you loved about him and what he loved about you? Of course we all change as we get older so some of our qualities have become stronger and some have disappeared. A really common example of this is when a career-woman becomes a stay-at-home mom.

Sometimes husbands miss the way their wives were before they became homemakers. So now you're thinking, "Well, I can't do anything about that!" To some extent that's true. You have a new and important role now in life that you shouldn't give up but you could try to add some variety in every once in a while by taking a night off to go out with friends or volunteer for a cause. This will remind your husband, and probably even yourself, that you are a multi faceted person with a lot to offer.

Here is something else that you need to consider if you're trying to get your husband to fall back in love with you. Remember what the bible says? "Do unto others as you would have done to you. . ."? How are you treating your husband? Of course how you act towards him may be altered if you feel that he doesn't love you anymore. But how have you been treating him in the last few years even before you noticed the change in him? It's easy and commonplace to start taking your husband for granted once you're married and even more so after the years go on. He probably does the same with you.

Maybe you've been dedicating yourself to the children for the most part and that means less one-on-one time with your man? Or maybe you're constantly nagging him about certain things you want done around the house which he neglects to do?

If you can switch your behavior around and start treating your husband the way you would like to be treated, he will eventually catch on and do the same. By letting your husband know that you appreciate and love him, you'll bring the two of you closer. And that is one answer to your question "How do I get my husband to love me again?"

Wondering, "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again . . ." after you've cheated? If so, you've probably already tried everything you can think of. You've told her it didn't mean anything, you've apologized over and over again and said you'd never do it again, you've begged on your hands and knees for forgiveness. But that didn't work and you're back to square one.

You need to be careful when you're trying to win your girlfriend back under any circumstances--but especially if you've cheated. You do want her back desperately and would do anything to change what you did, but it won't help to appear desperate. That would only contribute to the many reasons she has for not accepting you back right now. But how can you show her how sorry you are then?

One of the best strategies in regaining your girlfriend's heart is to write her a letter. Tell her that you agree with her decision to take some time. Tell her that she's exactly right, the two of you should really be going your own separate ways. Tell her that you've seen the end coming for quite a while now. After that, write a short apology. Tell her how very sorry you are for cheating on her. Agree that it showed a tremendous lack of respect towards her and once again convey how you really regret having done it. And finally, reveal that something really wonderful as happened in your life and you'd like to tell her about it whenever you can. Sign off in a neutral way and you've created the letter.

Whether you've realized it or not, sending a letter that contains those concepts is an extremely effective way to get your girlfriend's "love blood" flowing again. You're showing in a very classy way that you know what you've done and understand how it has hurt her and, at the same time, you're showing her that you're not completely devastated and mucking around in self-hate and pity. ..you're ready to start anew. It's very likely when your girlfriend reads the letter that she will contact you soon afterwards and you won't be in the position of begging for her time and forgiveness anymore.

This is just the first step in winning your girlfriend's heart back and you will definitely need to be ready when she gets back in touch with you after reading your letter. While you're waiting for her answer, make sure you take care of yourself, go out with friends and keep yourself busy - concentrate on being positive and upbeat. You want to be in the right state of mind when your girlfriend gets back to you. Don't hang around the phone and mope when you haven't heard anything yet.

Give it time. And play it cool when she does get in touch with you. Hopefully this has helped you with the first step in your question of "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . .even after I've cheated."

Dealing with breakup pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.

Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with breakup pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling breakup, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

So why is the pain from a lost love breakup so difficult? Because when dealing with a breakup, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain youre going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with breakup pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.

* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.

* Don't dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.

Your friends will probably realize that you're going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don't blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with breakup pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with breakup pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak.